Tutus and Rainboots

I think it's a given that when you're 5 you should be free to wear tutus with your jeans and rainboots...don't you?

Fly, Fly Away

This should be the last night we have butterflies in our schoolroom.

We finished a unit on butterflies several weeks ago. Unfortunately, I didn't time things well...if only I had thought about what I was doing instead of forging ahead...but, we finished the unit and received our teeny tiny caterpillars in the mail, watched them grow to really big and fat caterpillars, then change into chrysalides, and emerge as beautiful butterflies...in the cold winter!!

We've had our butterflies for a week and are now donating them to the zoo. We could keep them here, but I feel sorry for them living in our tiny habitat. We'll keep it and order more caterpillars later...when we can release them to live outside in the proper temperature!

We marveled with Marissa as we watched the miraculous changes and thought about our salvation and walk with the Lord, and also our new life when we get to Heaven. What a great learning and teaching tool in so many ways (for all of us). This is yet another example of why I love homeschooling so very much!

Loss

We were shopping at a bead store today when Marissa informed the sales clerk that we lost Jaime. The twist on her telling someone this time is that she was very specific that I (me) had lost my daughter. Marissa very noticably minimized her loss of Jaime, her sister. After she shared about my loss, she motioned that she wanted to whisper something in my ear. When I leaned close to listen to what she wanted she share, she told me that her loss was not as important as mine.

Wow.

The things people carry around inside can be so big and no one ever knows the magnitude of pain or guilt or whatever unless we choose to share it. I'm so glad Marissa did. So very glad. I never had a clue she felt that way.

I told her right there in that store that loss is loss. Grief and pain are still grief and pain. It doesn't matter who or what we lose. The fact that Jaime was my daughter doesn't mean that my pain was worse or more significant than the loss of her special sister.

When we got into the car after leaving the shop, we talked some more. I just didn't want to let the conversation drop. I had to make sure she understood that her feelings, fears, dreams, whatever...are so important and special to me. I reminded her again that she can share anything with her Daddy and me and that whatever it is won't make us love her any less. Her feelings are never too scary or big or bad or anything to share. We talked about how feelings can get bigger than they should be or scarier or whatever sometimes until we release and share them. Then the scariness or importance can be put into place or erased or whatever.

I treasure the moments we can really talk and share and they really make me miss the days Jaime and I used to do the same thing.

I love my kids. Brandon and Marissa...keep talking to me anytime. I want to hear and share. I want to love you. I want you to feel loved and important and special, because you are...and what you feel matters so much to me.

Wisdon

Wisdom. It is something we all want and need more of. I love praying for wisdom in front of my daughter. I believe it tells her (not only shows her) that I feel it is important and that I really want it. I also pray for wisdom for Marissa (in front of her).

Today was a perfect example of one of our answers to pray for wisdom. While we were driving home from the grocery store, Marissa and I were talking about her loves of painting and dancing. Our discussion veered off onto the avenue of time and activities. On a side note here - Marissa has always loved jewels and jewelery - so I also told her that maybe she would also be a jewlery designer someday. I thought she would accept that compliment and agree that she had quite a few things she might consider doing as an adult. Instead, she turned quite serious and informed me that there is only so much time in a day and that she is already very busy. She said that she is very involved in dance and painting, so she just really didn't think it would be good to try designing jewelery, too.

I love that she was paying attention to what I was saying and that she logically decided that she was already at her "limit" in activities. Marissa has always been a very logical thinker. Now, since she knows I prayed about her receiving more wisdom, I need to make sure I follow-up and draw attention to the fact that God is answering our prayers and that her thoughts on activity levels are a gift of wisdom from Him.

I love watching God work. I love that Marissa sees it, too. I know when we sit down to discuss this again that she will have already thought of it. She keeps me on my toes. I love that, too.